Whether your loss was sudden or after a long illness, it is
still a loss. This is not an easy road that we travel but
travel we must. It is a roller coaster of emotions that most of us have never dealt with before. There are moments we might
feel as if the world is closing in on us and it truly is. Our souls have been shattered by our loss and now we are bleeding
all over the place. However, we will heal and the bleeding does slow down, over those dreaded words that we don't understand,
called time. I'm told, it takes 1-5 years to grieve a loss of human life but we will never be the same. We will let go but
we will never let go of our loved ones. They will always be with us, until we are reunited again. We will move on but a part
of our souls will always remain with our loved ones, in our hearts. Each one of us will encounter people who want to offer
words of comfort and understanding and their words will come out all wrong. They want to help but don't have a clue of what
we are feeling. Many of us will put on false faces during the daytime, only to express our true selves in the privacy of
home, often behind close doors, at night, when the darkness and loneliness truly sets in. There are times that the tiniest
thing, whether event, thought or word, will trigger tears of unknown origin. Please, always remember that tears provide the
best healing for our souls. We all travel an array of emotions, from one end of the spectrum to the opposite. Once again,
this is normal. Have patience with yourself, something we all find we are often short of. Many times, everything will go
wrong on the home
front and we will become confused. Please remember, many of us are use to dealing with the normal life
ups and down with a partner. Now we deal with them alone and that alone, can be overwhelming.
Lean on others who
have also suffered the same type of loss you have. They are there for you. Take from them, what you
need. In time, before
you know it, you too, will be able to offer support to them. This is how we heal. We need each other, people who truly understand.
Be kind and gentle to yourself, the one we are often hardest on. We often carry the false guilt of surviving, thinking of
all the "should haves." Always remember, we did our best at that one particular moment. Our loved ones know deep
in their hearts that we do love them unconditionally.
When you get to that moment when you think you just can't go
on, slow down, take a deep breath. Live in the here and now, taking life one moment of a time.